Friday, February 18, 2011

Runaway Maid~

This is happened to a lot of people, I've heard stories all over the place. Even just recently me myself had talk about my sister in law maid wanted to going back home but the permit has few month balance. We were pursuit the little girl (maid) to stay tune until the permit expired. Furthermore my sister in-law is pregnant therefore she need more helps. So we been talking about my maid who already worked with me ; as same as a duration that I've been working with the company that I attached too now. They had told me that how lucky I am ... I was compliment her . She's good... honestly... I'm not demanding so as long as my children have been taking care of; me and my husband are orite.~

Well the feeling is until you have experienced it yourself , you would not believe that these is real.

Yeah ... my bibik (maid) run away ~ after less that 24hours I met my sister in-law...

The story begin , when she told me that she wanted to visit her friend some where near to my place. I was about to going back to home town and she decided not to follow( for the first time, after 2 1/2 years) but wanted to overnight at her friend places. Since she been working with me for two years and the half I never allow her to join any friend to shopping or what ever. Of course she got 2 days off - but in house. So I decided to agreed on that planed. I trust her. She never do things that not suppose to do .. you know maid ~ they are superb... brilliant mind but honestly I never doubt on her.

Basically she's good. She have no problem at all with us. She treat my children s like her own children s. She's very close with my youngest son. Let me share with you all if you guys forgot. I have 3 children s and the youngest is 12 years old. Reason to have maid at home is I need an assistants. My hubby always not at home~ so please imagine how struggles she is with 3 children s!( bodo kan bukan kena suap makan pun anak aku )

So on 3rd February 2011 , I HAVE SENT HER to her friend places. Gotten her friend hand phone and unit no ; I have given a full trust to her. She asked me to withdrew her salary and I did it , but I keep the balance of one month salary. I never thought that it was the last time I saw her.

We were talking in the car , and she told me that please call her early , so she can prepare her stuff when the time that I'll suppose to pick her up . How could you imagine 44 years old bibik , who works with you for almost 700days can just go like that! She act like nothing will be happened but I'm sure she have planned this earlier.
She called me at 2pm after 4 hours I dropped her at her friend apartment and told me that she's looking for better job! I'm so speechless ! It's happened when we all is on our way back to my hometown. I'm so frustrated and I cant accept why she did this to me.

~ well , finally we cope with it , my hubby was doing her check out memo.~ We take it with the good faith. Things happened always with reason. I have to accept the weakness from my side. But of course deep inside my heart-perhaps she don't do this to us because we love her so much . She part of our family anyway. My mom's always said she's good. She's pray and she's old.. so she's not like other maid out there you know, so we missed her~

BUT after a week the bloody fucker sms-ing my hubby and asked to bank in the balance of her money. FUCK YOU!! you have run away , and you dare to sms-ing us and asked your balance of your salary. Did you know that we have to pay for your check out memo because your visa are still valid? and cost us a month of your salary bloody old woman! I got so frustrated and I did not know how to share.I never thought that she will do this to us. Fine, you have run way, we finally decided to just take as faith and again you sms-ing us out of nowhere. Further in the message , she claimed that she's not happy and made a complaint that I always late paid her and that she gets beaten up(mentally). HAAAAAAA??????!!!!!! Gosh, I’ll bet my hubby REALLY wants to beat her up now!!! What lies…….*sigh*

I don't know if I have treated her badly. So far I cant even remember when I shouted at her. I was treat her good like someone who older than me.Very much respect but they always take us for granted. As my husband always remind me if happen I want to recruit a new bibik please have a barrier. But being a working mother I want to treat my bibik part of my family hoping that my children s will be taking care off.

My hubby right now at the Indon embassy…….let’s see what happens. I just wanted to warn you that even if you are nice to a maid and give her no reason to leave you, she could still turn away from you because the lure of the agent’s money is greater. Consider yourself warned~

Now my children s helping me out. Almost two weeks we don't have a maid at home and we still managed to survive. And we have decided not to have a maid ~

Saturday, February 12, 2011

bitter OR better

How do you create a happy life after an affair? That is exactly what I have been able to do and I believe it is possible for everyone, whether they stay in the marriage or not, but it will definitely take some time and some hard work..

When this kind of a negative change takes place we human beings go through normal stages, as we learn to cope with the new reality. First, we go into shock. We can’t believe it is happening to us. This looks different for different people. Some people might go into depression. Some people laugh all the time. Some people become despondent and start neglecting their responsibilities. Whatever it looks like for the individual, it is shock..

Second stage, and again this is human nature, we all tend to do this. I call it the bargaining stage. We try to get our lives back to what they were before, fix it so to speak. But once a major change has taken place in our life, we can NEVER go back to what it was before. We tend to compare , we start pointing finger and this is definitely true of marriages and affairs...

So we eventually come to the third stage. I call it the ‘choice’ stage. We can either carry around a chip on our shoulder for the rest of our lives, and say ‘poor me’. If it wasn’t for what this jerk or that person did, I wouldn’t be here today, and we can blame others for where we are in our lives…OR…we can CHOOSE to find the opportunities that ALWAYS present themselves in the midst of change. If you choose to find these opportunities one day you will find yourself saying “I can’t believe I’m saying this. I never thought I would ever be able to say this. As awful as that situation was back then…I am SO glad that happened to me, because if that hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t be in this great place today....

After all, I would think about my marriage in turmoil, all that I had lost and I would wonder if I still believed this truth…Well I can tell you today, that now I own those words about the affair…as awful and painful as it was…I am so glad that happened to me, because if it hadn’t, I wouldn’t be in this great place today. I would still be bumping along in my pre affair life, all about responsibility, not having fun or really enjoying life, still so much pain from my past, haunting me in my subconscious and affecting the way I related to others, preventing me from experiencing true freedom and joy in my life...

There are opportunities for you in this miserable, painful, difficult journey you are being FORCED (the childbirth analogy) to walk through right now. You too can have a better life as a result of this awful unfair situation. You can and will make it through this. The choice is yours…bitter or better?

p/s : I - could be you also,  : the story might not happen to me but from the observation that take a part. But  it's at least alarm everyone ~ good day everyone~     

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