Gee E-day :)

Time flies so fast .. I remembered during she just finished her form 5 and doing her part time job and came to discuss that she do not want to continue study and wanted to become flight attendance :)I remembered when she wanted to follow me to a friend birthday party and I asked her to just SIT only ! She's my baby boo .. one of the close cousin ...She's little girl to us .. But today I proud to be her cousy sister who see how fast she growth . She's now a duty manager in Micasa Hotel , just got engaged and getting married soon .She's charming , beautiful and I hope that her future husband can guide her along.Women are, in my view, natural peacemakers. As givers and nurturers of life, through their focus on human relationships and their engagement with the demanding work of raising children and protecting family life, they develop a deep sense of empathy that cuts through to underlying human realities" - Daisaku Ikeda "She has put one feet in , to rock the real life .. Married life . Married is beautiful if you able to give and take , with respect one another .

Janji 2013

2012 was so fast . Cam tak terkejar pun ada . For the first time new year lepak kat rumah doing nothing . Unbelievable . Few friends call ajak p TC ( teluk chempedak ) tapi kaki malas nak bangun . hehhe 

Saya juga mahu yang baik baik . Mahu yang enak enak . Walaupun It was not really good start for 2013 with the "de" aku bersyukur kerana masih bernyawa . 

Walaupun melaluinya amat perit , sukar tapi aku percaya masih ada yang lebih perit dari apa yang aku lalui . Bersyukur kerana kehidupan ini banyak memberi aku pengajaran . Kehidupan tidak semestinya sentiasa manis , tidak juga sentiasa pahit aku ingat pesan mutawif masa mengejakan ibadah umrah . "Mintak la apa sahaja agar Dia tahu kita tidak pernah berhenti berdoa " . 

Aku tidak mintak yang lebih lebih . Apa yang ada mahu ditambah agar lebih elok itu sahaja. Kiranya apa yang ditakdirkan ini mengajar aku aku terus bersama sama mengahdapi kerenah kehidupan , Aku redha . 

Wishlist :-

1. Nak p Koh Lipe , Thailand 

2. Nak p Europe trips 

3. Nak continue the business in Kuantan .

Moga rezeki kami sekeluarga bertambah  dan selebihnya aku mahu jadi insan yang baik , inya allah .

Happy new year :)

A month here @ Daerah Palma

I have clocked a month here. The place that I have born , as place I grew up those days.

Lama  sangat I did not visiting my own blog. Busy , rushing north to east , west to south ahkirnya dah sebulan di bandar palma ini . 

Saya juga sudah tidak lagi dengan Octopus  . Baru saje memulakan langkah baru dengan company yang baru . 

Sebulan di sini macam baru semalam. Its really fast than I tot . Never had sense of regret also . Tak terasa sangat yang saya di bumi yang lain . Maybe because a new port folio that Im doing now till I gotta no time for my self. No shopping , No loitering , No TC , No eat outside .. Most of it I cuma di tempat keje and home - the paradise .

Insya allah we will meet again ya ..  

Tak mudah ~

I'm coming home , with all the hiccups and obstacles finally I'm back to my hometown. 
Takda benda yang paling happy walaupun Im sure keadaan akan bertambah lagi payah . After leaving my routine for two week , my life like an empty box and I keep asking my self I am doing things correct ? Tinggalkan anak , good friend , harta yang tak seberapa di Kuala Lumpur and its definitely a lot to catch up for my coming back.Arggggg ! 
Kosong - I dun know how you feel but seriously I felt bad !

All my weekend has been utilized like an jet star coming up to KL and back to Kuantan on weekdays. The decisions on my children to follow me back are still tentatively .. Its hard but its left me no choice.

I was going through the moment that I don't really like to face it. 
As I mentioned I felt like live in the box , food been feed by my parents but the routine that I have done for almost four years seems it over . But after all ; this is the things that I have make up my mind . I Finally made a decision. I don't care. That's right. I said it to my self. I'm open about it . No fears of judgement, may be a little , but its cool.

As soon I set my self free from pressure of being as good as others , like an instruction , like an being control by panel .. I felt free .I think I have a lot to tell and basically I'm finally at my hometown. Meet my amazing old friends , new friends , new neighborhood ,new colleague and new office environment It takes time for me to adapt but I'm sure I can. Hence they drop by , bought some fabulous new dresses and we went to other friend house ate the selection of cake ( felt like having in bakery shop) that made by my dearest friend who love to baked , either way then I cannot say I regret it. Altho we were apart at one time but now I felt very closed.

So I'm going to try to keep up the challenge of actually doing this for my own sake. Honestly without sharing , I just feel like I go insane .. ( LOL)
I hope I would be able to adapt with the kind of family oriented environments whereby every weekend you can see everybody having potluck stuff and gathering things with family members.

The parenthood just started here ,It will be a good start I can feel it . Good luck Sayang , I need to past the battle back to you .
Thanks Allah . Insya allah you gonna be okay  . xo

Kembara Spritual

Those who know me surely shock on the changes . Hopefully its kekal macam mana the 14days its intact with me . I got surprised too with the changes . I am stubborn lives with my principle bahawa Islam tidak ada paksaan. Perubahan kena ikhlas dan sebenarnya tidak !! Tapi lagi banyak I belajar lagi banyak I paham apa tu "paksa" dalam islam.
From notty girl , notty mommy and easy going chick I'll surprise with this migration! I mula takut buat salah. I mula takut tidak jujur and I jadi sangat penakut! Jujurnya, most everyday I kept asking myself betul ke I buat ni .. kekal ke macam ni . Doakan untuk saya .. Kalau sayang saya , hargai saya sebagai teman please prays for my hijrah to be kekal macam ini .
I've since Kaabah once , but this time the impact subhanallah. Tak dapek nak tulis kat note ni . Its beautiful feeling and kami pergi dengan hajat. Moga hajat itu tercapai.. Niat kami baik , moga Allah tunaikan hajat kami . Kami memohon ini adalah kembara spiritual dan semua orang berhak menerima hidayah!
I really scared if i might lose a friendship because this migration but I am sure that Allah with me and I have those still prays for my best.Ada juga suara sumbang yang kenal my past talked about my changes and said I hanya nak show off.. Kalau berbuat baik tidak payah la nak show off . I am not show off , I just share the feelings .. that is all . Dosa paling saya takut "memfitnah" dan saya rasa zaman kejahilan saya dulu sekalipun I dont do that. I love my freinds so much. I am a person who really appreciate on friendship tapi bila ada kawan sendiri yang pertikaikan perubahan saya , saya sangat sedih. Bila gelak mengomen my pages , yang bila tengok saya berhijab bkata yang bukan bukan saya rasa down sangat , Kadang kadang ada rasa nak close FB ini. As I said earlier saya jadi sangat penakut. Saya cepat cuak , saya cepat terasa. OH my ! Tapi saya sangat pasti ada hikmahnya dengan cacian tersebut. Itu bukan kawan saya rasa. Kawan ada lah orang yang paling gembira melihat perubahan kawannya. Bila ada yang kata , tidak mudah untuk kekal bertudung kerana saya bukan orang yang baik dan berhijab sebelum ini saya rasa sedih sangat. Saya gembira dengan perubahan saya dan saya tidak sikit mencaci orang yang masih seperti saya seperti dulu. Semua orang akan terima hidayah itu insya allah. Moga perubahan saya seiring dengan perbuatan. Menjaga lima rukun hendaknya.
Semua orang ada hak berubah, paksa la kalau perlu . I have attended the tazkirah and meleleh air mata degil ini mengenang antara 7 dosa besar yang pernah saya buat. Moga Allah masih menerima saya . Dan bersyukur dengan perubahan ini...
Saya masih da same person . Boleh lepak tengok wayang , or lepak kat Starbucks .Saya masih orang yang sama cuma the principle life slightly changed .
Those who loves me , prays for my migration to be permanently . Every second a process of learning.
Again doakan saya untuk kekal begini .Ajal , maut pertemuan di tangan Allah . Walaupun apa jadi sekalipun saya pasti Alalh with me. Wallahualam

Calm

Well honestly its freaking out . Jiwa I sendiri kinda takut dengan bayang bayang . I dunno what is went wrong , perhaps the strength that he has give it to me will lead me to find the soul that I really looking into it.

I dunno if you does , but that is happen to me . Feel better to be alone. Moving ahead to setting up the first step. Its look easier but actually NOT! hell not easy .

I keep asking my self .. Am I demanding ? Or this is the real situation after so long. Even when we are living in complete denial about it.

Ya allah .. lead me to be better person .

Saya Saya dan Saya...

Honestly this is not that easy . Shocking , terrible feeling at own house and so on.

Lama saya tak visit awak kat sini. Saya busy sangat. It just a week on leave tapi everything kena catch up. Penat .
My feeling is all here ; you are my great friend . Thanks for all the wishes , sekarang saya okay .. insya allah I will share things with uols after this ...

muahhhh