She's wearing a engagement ring!

My BFF is just engaged!  I'm so beyond excited! And if you know her, or if you've read her FB, you know what a major deal this is for her. She was destined for this job and I could not be more thrilled to see it all come to be.

It's hard for me not to tell her everything about my experiences because I want her to have her own and not worry about what anyone else did. If there's anything that I've learned from, that everyone  has their own unique experience. No matter what, her relationship will be different from my mine.We handle man with our own way; she handles both will be different from the way I handled them. It will be equally as awesome, but different.

I can't wait on her wedding day. There will be a bachelor night for her for sure.

Congrats babeh !

Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E

I am thoroughly exhausted. I have no idea why. I thought the weekend of rest and naps would allow me to bounce back this week and be ready to go, but my body is still sluggishly tired. 
I'm moving at the pace of a snail and I've done practically nothing all day. I've spent most of the day staring blankly at MBC still discussing about the new JD for next year . 
Cannot wait to get on the shuttle home. I don't even know if I have the strength to go out tonight... correction: I don't have the strength to go out tonight (just unmade plans).

When I get some sleep and I feel better about myself, I'm sure I'll be incredibly excited and forward-thinking and have lots of positive things to say. For now, though, I just think of negatives. But, I still want to do it - lol - which shows you how hopeless. I need a change - drastic change. Except, because I am who I am and I feel so uncomfortable about things in my office, I just want to go into hibernation mode and talk to no one. I'm trying to resist the urge to do that because I know it's not healthy, but I still really just want to dig myself into a hole in the ground. I think work has worn me out and I can't handle being social. Blerg. I'll get over it. In the meantime, I want to brainstorm all the things I want to do when I get here. Maybe that will make me feel better.

Hahahah .... arrived home my maid  just told me that my son temperature goes up 40 degrees. Checked again his body temperature , straight away bring him to the nearest clinic. I've forgotten that I'm also had fever.. Goshh ...


Doctor had given me two days MC. Doesn't really work on me because I'm still working at home...
But the most important is I'm around to monitor my son...

~Saturday nite ~

I don't know what the fuck is up, but I feel like crap. I left dina's sport day 12:15 pm, only to come home and sleep for a good FOUR hours. I slept through TWO alarms that I'd set, as well as my daily birth control alarm. I feel sluggish and lazy. It took all the strength I had to get up to go eat dinner with my hubby....

I'm with little sista  in my apartment, too, which sucks royally. I wanted to go out, but since I got things to do up till 11.30 pm, by then it was too late to realistically do anything.


Right now I'm getting a little tired, which is good. I was worried. I'm thinking about staying home tomorrow because I don't know if I can deal (checking calendar... gosh! my BFF engagement day tomorrow! and my beloved family is on the way for KL tour) I'm just not feeling like myself. I don't know what it is. If I'm sick... maybe I'm hormonal? I just have no clue. But I don't feel like me...

Lilte confession....

Met a friend yesterday while shopping with family at a mall. Haven't seen her for a while, but she is someone who is special to me, like competitor, like enemy, like friend. I just want to say that, it hurts me when I get the impression of her trying to judge or value me while I said I have been rested since half a year ago after quitting my job. After she told me about herself pursuing Masters in UK and another friend working in States (achieving her dreams), I said to her in an envious tone, 'you girls met great opportunities'. Perhaps she had misunderstood me as if I thought that they can do what they are doing now because of plain luck. She said to me, 'we both worked very hard and suffered in order to survive our dreams". Suddenly I felt an invisible arrow stabbing my chest, ouch! So I lived a good life and deserve what I get right now? Argh... perhaps we were talking in different channels, it seems that we kept misunderstanding each other since the first day we met.

The only motivation for me to find a job now is to pay debts, even though no one asks me for it. I can only say that I hate the world, I hate being in the world. What is being me while there is nothing good about me? I find that being 'utilitarian' is more effective than standing for own principles. Being a freshman has no right to insist on her principles, only obedience and submission to authorities. There is no right or wrong in the business world, only what is rewarding and what is not. It's a taboo to appear weak and not confident in self, I tried but it's just too tired to pretend that I'm strong.
Perhaps I am too far from what I want to be, it seems unachievable. What is success? What is success according to you? What is success from the point of the world's view? Is my life aim to be success, or to be obedient to the Lord's will? Some says to be success is obedient to God, to give glory to God. Or should I proceed to pursue what I perceive as success by following my heart? Not everyone can afford integrity.

~My Final decision!

Oat sangat bengang , even semalam dia masih talk about it... Aku diam , bukan bermaksud kalah , sebab kiranya aku bukak mulut aku tahu aku tak akan menang ....

Bukan aku tak buat my part . I did! biar pun meleleh air mata darah sekali pun, I have done what I've supposed to do. My colleague , my direct reporting manager , my support team are aware about my transfer...

Bukan senang jadi AKU ; I have to pleased every body. My parents , my kids , his ex- and family , his family , freind and even my maid.I've to make that decision. Its long term business. Bukan macam cerita :Bukan hari ini , esok tiada....Kalau boleh aku nak jerit pada Oat ( sebab berkali explained masih tak nak paham)its for everybody benefit. You and kiddos benefit. Not me ... paham skit keadaan...


Moga tuhan tahu dan bimbing aku untuk jadi substitute yang terbaik.

ps : When you change person to be what you want , you just loose the respect ! 

R.E.M.E.M.B.R.A.N.C.E..

I know I'm on my way to my dream, but how long, how hard, and what I need to overcome on this path, I do not know yet. I am counting a day .. and I am so scared by now ( please don't tell boss)

I was being assigned some jobs at work during my five month with them ~A Staff trip~ Being a event coordinator, something came through my life before, but never dared to dream about after settle down. I remembered my instructor at the academy Airlines took much effort trying to correct my knowledge and mistakes (whoops I hope my boss is not reading this), and I did try hard to improve and learn more stuffs after that. Okay, perhaps my knowledge is not perfect, but I think it's good enough.

Next, being a part of committee - being creative, being catchy. Well that's a huge challenge. I have to think of some catchy phrase to catch the team attention and make something happening by giving info to them. I enjoy the thrill of the excitement of being 'entrusted', challenged and 'seeing' my creativity. Yet I'm aware of the difficulties might come along and at times when things just doesn't seem right - for example, being stuck and no inspiration on activity.

Am I thinking too much? Perhaps. It's good to have some self realization.By now I just have to do more activity, search a place of interest with reasonable price. Costing are major topic on doing activity for the group. I can see the person I want to be, my dream; event co-coordinator,me;- someone who can make a difference. I know where I am now, and it can't be done without God's interventions (not that He needs to perform a huge miracle), but I can only say that if the Lord wills, the dream can be achieved, and all the glory goes to Him. Ultimately, I hope my life will mean something, for being part of His work on earth, and what I do, what I dream of, will never ever be done in vain.

Leaving 2009 project in heart with smile. Looking to the picca on the wall before entering office pantry make me realize the big roll on doing something. Many Thanks to team who trust my capability to make that project success.

Again , being a part of team this year when we have merger two team become one , I knew that is not easy to monitor. To plan something that you have to imagine is hard to do. We started six month in paper until it's only take less than twenty-four hour in real life.
I keep smiling till now. Through out the project sometimes I was little bit give up when the project seem not interested to them. But the committee members are always keep remind one another on the purpose of doing this.
Some of it give nasty feedback.Huh!!!

Without any one realize, it was my last project with the team...Huh.. I was little bit sad when I heard some says 'something' when I have decided not to go, on this trip... Actually I didn't know that I am still around or NOT during that time..Hard for me to share, but let me tell you I've got no choice by telling you that my family is my priority. My hubby need me more on make sure my children being taking care of.
As promise I'm still helping them for 2010 staff trip will take about less than two month from now. Looking at them I know that I will remember the moment that we have spend together....

My journey here, are about at the end. A time for me to say good bye.Special thanks to Zarilan who teach me a lot being a team, to Nurul who work hand to hand with me, to my boss who trust my capability to be head of the team,to my 'AH LONG' ~ Saha and Herwan , my lady GAGA who helping me, to all who support and encourage me... and for all participants who believe in me.

I will remember every single moment that we have shared ...
~Until me and Epit have to stay back till 10:00 pm looking at bank-slip if there is floating money,Unfortunately NO(someone has claims that the money have bank-in)... Then how hard to asked Dragon to find the fund... huh!kenangan terindah babe!

I also would like to apologize for any hi-cup during my stayed.

I'm not perfect and I willing to learn more but unfortunately I have to go..

I wish all the best to you all and i really hope that we can keep in touch.

I am counting days!:(

Muahhhh

Redang Island,Terengganu

Memories are something that no one can ever take from you. They're embedded in your brain forever. After my husband and I had spent several month working without any off day, we knew that we had to get away. Where could someone go that would’t be extremely costly?

As the time approached for us to gather up our luggage and travel to Merang Jetty, we started to get more excited. We had no clue as to what we were getting ourselves into, but we were excited about getting away.
The weather is terrible. It was bumpy ride all the way. My son was vomited although I have given ‘novimin’ for prevents to vomits.

We headed to our room, and unpacked our clothing. We felt like two teenagers on a first date... Forgotten that we had three handbags that we has brought along ... The room so big and we had connecting room as per requested.
Thanks for understanding..:)
We can hear the laugh from another door.I believed they really enjoyed the stayed!

Oh, let me tell you about this island.The crystal blue water was something you would think you'd only see on a postcard.We found ourselves just relaxing and talking, and even though there were over 2,000 people on this island, we felt that it was just the five of us. We found an area off in a corner, in the shade, and relaxed . I didn't want to ever leave this island in paradise.
Upon arriving on our dinner, we were greeted by the hostess, which made us feel that they were so glad to see us. It truly was like our home away from home. We were entertained during the night with a wonderful show by the entertainers on the resort. We played some shuffleboard, spent a little time at the recreation center, hung out by the pool, and watched the ice carving demonstration. The list just goes on and on.The most special part of my vacation was having time to be with my family in an atmosphere that made us feel like we were in a world of our own ... in our home on the island…

The remainder of the day could not have been better. We were so excited that we actually went back to our room and called it a night before midnight, so we could prepare ourselves for the next day, for we were going to the Marine Park for snorkeling.Afterward, we headed back to the resort.
We have spent 2 night on the island, and we knew that we are very lucky. To have happy family who never says anything on our busy day.

Many thanks to my beloved husband who work so hard just to fulfill our needed..and I believe everybody need a vacation...:)

Muahhhhhhhh.....